Talking About Money with Friends: A #TomorrowTalk Recap
This past Thursday, we once again gathered on Twitter to discuss why we Americans don't talk about money with our friends (and why that can really hurt us!) Our guest, Kara from Bravely, hosts personal finance events in the Austin area and beyond — we were so thrilled to have her join us for a topic close to her heart.
Below we share some of our favorite findings from our participants — to see all of the discussion, click here! #TomorrowTalk happens on the third Thursday of every month, and we can't wait to see you in June!
Q1. A recent statistic stated people are more likely to discuss their sex lives or their weight before they'll talk about money. Why do you think this is? #TomorrowTalk
Money is so complex, many people don't track their income and expenses, but do step on the scale daily or monthly, or remember how many times they've been in bed recently... #TomorrowTalk
— ErikMastermindWithin (@MastermindWithi) May 25, 2018
A1: aw hell naw. I never talk about my sex life with friends, although we do talk about weight/diet etc. We're all mid 30's-mid 40's, so we do talk about estate planning and charitable giving most often when we talk about $. #TomorrowTalkhttps://t.co/4HvGh3z7NZ
— Green Revelation (@littlegreenrev) May 25, 2018
A1: We learn from an early age, parents, employers are not polite, professional to talk about money, salary, etc. And if we are not educated on the topic, we could be embarrassed to share the details. #tomorrowtalk
— Brian (@DebtDiscipline) May 25, 2018
This stat blows my mind. But: we see sex everywhere in the world. TV, movies, billboards, health class. And while we see what money buys, we don't see people talking about finances anywhere! I think the closest you get is ppl on Insta holding money to their ears #TomorrowTalk
— Bravely (@bravelygo) May 25, 2018
Q2. Do you talk to your friends about money? Why or why not? #TomorrowTalk
Q2. I rarely talk to my friends about money. I feel like all of the people my age are so far ahead of where I am. I don't want to be judged, but honestly, I also really don't want unsolicited advice from them (I find it easier to take advice from strangers). #tomorrowtalk
— The 76K Project (@The76KProject) May 25, 2018
A2: Very well! Even when I was making less than 20k + in student loan debt, it was a pretty open topic. ALL my friends were in debt, and I just happened to be the one to say 'actually i can't afford that cuz of them loans' and people would say 'oh yeah, me too' #TomorrowTalk
— Bravely (@bravelygo) May 25, 2018
A2. As I mentioned above, we have had a lot of estate planning discussions in my circle, because several folks have had parents pass in last few years (including me). #TomorrowTalk https://t.co/rcKt0wV2YS
— Green Revelation (@littlegreenrev) May 25, 2018
A2. When I was open and vulnerable about going to personal finance meet ups, my friends started spontaneously talking to me about money. It was less embarrassing than what I was doing. #TomorrowTalk
— The Give and Get (@thegiveandget) May 25, 2018
Q3. Do you feel like you judge other people's money choices, or that yours will be judged? #TomorrowTalk
A3 I don't judge others' decisions. I do feel like mine are judged from time to time--especiallywhen writing about it online! #TomorrowTalk pic.twitter.com/YjsCqdnO0Q
— Femme Frugality (@femmefrugality) May 25, 2018
A3: I try not to judge other people’s money choices, but I feel like I can’t help it, especially if I think they’re making a mistake! I want to jump in without butting in... #TomorrowTalk
— Stephanie (@StephTheBlogger) May 25, 2018
A3. I used to judge people more. Well....maybe not judge but wonder why they did things that were so different than what I would do. I think others judged some of our choices. But I'm the one who retired early and kids have no college debt. No one asked how.... #TomorrowTalk
— MoneyWomen (@womenwhomoney) May 25, 2018
I mean, I keep talking. But a lot of people peace out when it gets uncomfortable or hard. Which I totally get! I try to steer them toward resources then. Just not my resource 😂 #TomorrowTalk
— Penny (@picksuppennies) May 25, 2018
Q4. What's been the most surprising or impactful thing you've learned from your money discussions? #TomorrowTalk
A4. Same. My IRL people are super with it and frugal and my online people are keeping up with the joneses. My friend said at lunch today that she would buy a bigger house but her friends all have small houses so she feels fine. #tomorrowtalk
— The Give and Get (@thegiveandget) May 25, 2018
A4. I really think philanthropy discussions have been SO impactful in shaping what I value wrt money. When I started saving aggressively, it was to retire early/comfortably and to achieve some serious philanthropic goals. #TomorrowTalkhttps://t.co/tv7m0pFjQR
— Green Revelation (@littlegreenrev) May 25, 2018
A4: I think most people I went to college with are in a similar financial situation to us, but talking to a variety of folks on twitter opened me up to how many different financial situations are possible #TomorrowTalk
— Stephanie (@StephTheBlogger) May 25, 2018
Q5: What money topics are still too taboo to discuss with friends? Why? #TomorrowTalk
Estate planning. Ive has a lot of convos about this. My dad is an accountant so he told me everything about being an executor at 21. And then I read a book about crematoriums and polled my friends how they were disposing of their bodies. #tomorrowtalk I am great at parties.
— The Give and Get (@thegiveandget) May 25, 2018
A5: Salary, it seems that if I make X and you make Y, there's an "ego" thing that goes along with knowing those numbers. Also, I'd say total expenses since not many people even know that number due to lack of tracking #TomorrowTalk
— ErikMastermindWithin (@MastermindWithi) May 25, 2018
Q6. How can you provide a safe environment for your friends to discuss money? #TomorrowTalk
A6. With my close friends, I'm not a judgey mcjudgerson about money, and we value a lot of similar things. We trust each other to stay private about other things (health issues, life drama), so money questions are no different. #TomorrowTalkhttps://t.co/VrCJBGbbfa
— Green Revelation (@littlegreenrev) May 25, 2018
A6: I strive to always be nonjudgemental. And like @DebtDiscipline mentioned earlier, I'm very upfront about my own struggles and mistakes. I didn't pay taxes in 2012! That was a mistake for sure 😂 #TomorrowTalk
— Bravely (@bravelygo) May 25, 2018
Q7. What phrases have you used that help you talk about money? #TomorrowTalk
A7: Did I ever tell you the story of how we racked up $109K worth of debt....#tomorrowtalk
— Brian (@DebtDiscipline) May 25, 2018
"You know you can deduct that?" "Your renters insurance should cover it." "Well, how much is it?" "Does it fit in your budget?" "I just heard about this cool new app..." #TomorrowTalk pic.twitter.com/FCvhX9dlSx
— Femme Frugality (@femmefrugality) May 25, 2018
Q8. What are your best tips for having fruitful and honest conversations about money? #TomorrowTalk
A8: Be the one to start the conversation, and do it from a place that you're willing to share as well. You can't ask someone to talk about something you're not willing to talk about. #TomorrowTalk
— Bravely (@bravelygo) May 25, 2018
A8: Be honest, not judgemental, and share your own experience with money are my keys! #tomorrowtalk pic.twitter.com/6spsQTlvVf
— Brian (@DebtDiscipline) May 25, 2018
We're about to wrap up our first #TomorrowTalk! Do you have any additional thoughts or comments?
Talking about money is way less weird than talking about sex or weight. I think. I’m too afraid to find out. #tomorrowtalk
— The Give and Get (@thegiveandget) May 25, 2018
Asking questions and listening is as important if not more important than talking at or with others :) #TomorrowTalk
— ErikMastermindWithin (@MastermindWithi) May 25, 2018
It matters. We have people writing in to us with stories about how money problems have ended friendships and relationships. We all need to learn to talk about money more freely. #tomorrowtalk
— MoneyWomen (@womenwhomoney) May 25, 2018
Look at what happened when I talked to a friend about her student loans! #TomorrowTalk pic.twitter.com/B2Hmjc4uJ2
— Bravely (@bravelygo) May 25, 2018
